


And I'll tame the roads that can't be tamed (with you)

by aheshke



Category: The Gardener's Hand - Felicia Davin
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Kink Mention, Modern AU, OT3, Oneshot, Polyamory, Swearing, and it works, as usual our loveable asshole is just saying things to get under everyone's skin, but no sexy shenanigans are in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 07:43:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20811551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aheshke/pseuds/aheshke
Summary: “You don’t know how to drive?”





	And I'll tame the roads that can't be tamed (with you)

* * *

“You don’t know how to drive?” Ev almost dropped the empty crates from her arms as she stared at Alizhan, who rubbed the back of her neck and wouldn’t meet her eyes. Thiyo raised his eyebrows at Ev over the top of his phone. It was one thing to know that many city folks didn’t own a car and entirely another to discover that their girlfriend had never even sat behind the wheel of a vehicle. One of Ev’s earliest childhood memories featured Obin holding her on his lap as she pressed the various switches and pedals of his truck and Neiran laughing at them from the passenger seat.

Alizhan swung her feet idly over the edge of Ev’s pickup. “Iri said it wasn’t a necessary skill for a servant to know, but in retrospect, it’s probably because she didn’t want me to know how to use a car to get away from her.”

Thiyo hopped up next to Alizhan and slung an arm over her shoulder. “Please don’t take offense at this, babe, but your mother continues to resemble a piece of human garbage, may she never rest in peace.”

Ev finished securing the crates and dusted her hands off, thinking. “Do you want me to give you a lesson or two?” she asked. “I’m no professional driver, but at least I’m a safe one, unlike InstaAddict here.” She inclined her head at Thiyo, who made a face even as he continued to scroll through his feed.

“In my defense, my first vehicle was_ a boat_ and there’s no laws against using Insta while driving one. If there were, tourism would suffer from a distinct lack of my splendid features accentuating the best scenery the nature gods have to offer.”

“My point exactly.”

Alizhan smiled gently at both of them (gods, her smile always made Ev’s stomach flutter) and said, “Would you teach me? I’d love that.”

* * *

“First of all, I have to sit in the middle,” Ev told Thiyo moments before Alizhan’s second driving lesson, which was the first time Thiyo had been invited along in the name of balanced and open partner dynamics and whatnot. (Ev was still getting the hang of this whole partner thing, let alone having two partners, and relied on late-night web searches for relationship advice more than she wanted to admit.) He pouted, sticking out his bottom lip.

“Aww, but I’m gonna lose the best angle for capturing Baby’s First Road Practice!”

“Tough tiddies, bud.” She raised her eyebrows at him until he switched places with her.

Meanwhile, Ali gingerly hoisted herself into the driver’s seat and then with a creak of barely used levers, scooched the seat almost all the way into the steering wheel, and then made the seat higher for good measure. They had gone over all parts of the car during the first driving lesson and called it a day before Ev went to pick up Thiyo, which he had been very salty about because apparently he had plans to turn Ali’s driving into an Insta story for his dedicated followers or something. Whatever.

Ev nodded approvingly as Alizhan checked the mirrors before starting the car, flinching slightly as it sputtered and rumbled. 

“You ready to drive around an empty parking lot?” Ev asked her.

“Oh, sure,” Alizhan said, looking out of the windshield with a suspicious calm, but for the way her brown hands gripped the wheel at 9-and-3 like a lifeline.

They turned gentle circles through the parking lot, practicing turns, accelerating, and braking and before long, Alizhan seemed to have relaxed into it, grinning after successfully parking between well-worn painted lines for the first time.

“Alright, now let’s try a bit of road practice, okay?” Ev met Ali’s wide gray eyes. She looked adorably nervous, but Ev knew she could handle the road just fine.

“Aw yiss,” muttered Thiyo from Ev’s right. He had shockingly managed to keep his commentary to the occasional exclamation or cheer of encouragement, but his thumbs never left the screen of his phone as he rapidly swiped through his Insta feed. He finally dragged a hand through his mop of hair and turned to look at them, his green eyes bright. “Would you like to take a pic for posterity? The fans are getting rabid for updates about us.”

Ev refrained from rolling her eyes. “You and your fans. I don't even know why they care so much to know about us versus, um, literally any other polyamorous triad on the planet. I don’t even have an Insta.”

“It’s because we’re a trio of successful and gorgeously attractive young adults and to top it off, you have that intriguing mysterious farm gal side that encourages ‘sustained content engagement’, in the words of the social media sages. They ask a lot of questions about you, you know.”

“That they definitely do,” agreed Ali, blushing.

Ev made a face, but let Thiyo snap the selfie before she guided Ali through driving down the sleepy country road. 

(The selfie, Thiyo informed her later over dinner, was one of their most popular ones yet, whatever that meant.)

* * *

Weeks later, they piled into the truck again for more driving practice after Ev closed her stand at the farmer’s market. It was an absolute _beast_ of a summer day, one that could give Adappyr’s weather a run for its money and double as an opportunity to make several batches of baked goods without ever turning on a household oven. As such, the thornfruit stand had been miserable and slow work, and not even Thiyo’s antics could relieve Ev’s irritation. To top it off, her favorite pair of sunglasses had smashed in the parking lot that morning and so she’d been squinting at everything all day and her eyes were tired. Thankfully, Ali had wanted to drive them home.

The truck’s aged air conditioning unit sputtered to life with the engine and tried its best, but the heat had clearly bested its abilities. Thiyo used a sales flyer to fan himself and sighed loudly while Ev glowered with thoughts of the unsold fruit boxes in the cargo bed. Ali was the least grumpy of them all, somehow looking as if she was basking in the way the sun flushed her skin and made sweat bead on her skin. She was much more miserable in winter weather, Ev remembered.

After a few minutes, Ev realized they weren’t taking their usual route home.

“Uh, Ali? Where exactly are we going?”

“To get milkshakes, of course! You two look like you could seriously use it.”

“Oh my gods, you’re right,” said Thiyo, sitting up. “That’s positively the most decadent suggestion I’ve heard all day. I'm _absolutely_ at the point of eating ice cream, damn the consequences for my hubris.”

(Ev dug around in her backpack and pointedly handed him lactase tablets.)

The trouble began, of course, after Ali had successfully navigated the drive-thru without any help from either of them and they had all settled into the long drive home with their oversized concoctions of dairy and corn syrup.

Thiyo had recently posted more pictures and videos of them together and took it upon himself to read them the comments and messages. “Huh, there are _a lot_ of people begging us to cosplay as their favorite characters.”

“Hm,” said Ev, feeling a headache coming on.

“Yeah, a lot of them are characters from children’s shows or whatever but oh! _Ooooh._ Oh, now, that comment is just _dirty_.”

Ali flicked on her turn signal and said nothing, though Ev noticed her eyebrows rise ever-so-slightly.

“Do we even want to know?” Ev asked him.

Thiyo looked her up and down. “Hmm… Maybe? Their explicit descriptions are most _exquisite_, I must say. Especially of what this shameless internet weirdo wants dear old me to do. Want me to describe the scene and bondage gear? It includes inappropriate use of a taser.”

The car swerved, shoving Ev up against Thiyo as Ali turned onto the long farm road almost a touch too slow to make it.

“Are you okay there?” Ev asked Ali, noting the way her girlfriend was staring ahead with the steadfastness of a soldier at her post.

“I’m perfectly okay,” Ali croaked.

Thiyo, who had apparently observed none of the effects of his words on his partners added, “And you would not _believe_ what they would like my lactose-intolerant ass to do with fondue. Dare I go on?”

Ev pinched the bridge of her nose, strongly resisting the urge to swear in Adappyri. The summer sun reflected brightly on the hood of the truck and from the middle seat, the effect was blinding. She really needed to replace her janky sunglasses. "Look, it's been a long fucking day. I just need you stay quiet and not take any snaps or make any Insta stories or read us _anything_ until we're safely parked. Got it?"

"Got it, darling, whatever floats your boat."

"_Thiyo,_" Ev warned.

"Whatever twigs your wig." Thiyo slid on his aviators and flashed a cheeky grin. Ev glanced over at Ali, who obediently continued to stare straight ahead at the empty road, even though her lips twitched with restrained mirth. She casually reached for her milkshake, maintaining one hand firmly on the wheel at the precise angle Ev had taught her that day.

"Thiyo, I swear to God—"

"Whatever caboodles your noodle!"

The truck screeched to a dusty halt as Ali choked on her milkshake. Ev pounded her on the back and glared at Thiyo as if she could will him into the nearest unmarked grave through sheer willpower alone.

"Get in the back, you fiery asshole. You're banished until we get home."

"Aw, but babe—"

"Don't you 'babe' me! She could've flipped my truck into a ditch thanks to your marvelous fucking inability to keep your mouth shut for even five minutes."

"But this shirt is designer! Precious goddess of my heart, may I please remain in the air conditioning?"

"Nope, get in the back and strongly consider not annoying your girlfriends for the next thirty minutes, or else you'll have to walk and most definitely ruin your fancy clothes."

Thiyo huffed, but had the decency to look at least somewhat remorseful and mouthed an apology to Ali, who gave him a shaky thumbs up of forgiveness as she continued to catch her breath.

As soon as he moved to the cargo bed (with a loud thump and quieter muttering), Ev asked Ali, "Do you want to keep driving or should I take over from here? It's okay if you don’t want to."

She shook her head and made the truck roll forward again, gravel clacking against the undercarriage. "I'll drive. Just promise me you won't banish our boyfriend to the back forever? I quite like him."

Ev snorted, pulling the brim of her hat down in attempt to cut down on the sun's glare. "He started it. But yes, I'll let him back in eventually. Obviously, he's still not allowed on your highway lessons."

"Obviously. We'd all die."

"Rest in fucking pieces," Ev agreed.

Ev gave in and allowed Thiyo back after fifteen minutes, much to his obvious relief, and they miraculously made it back to the farmhouse in a tense-and-awkward-but-safe-from-bodily-harm silence.

(“I’m sorry I’m such an annoying blabbermouth,” Thiyo told Ali as part of his apology to her later that evening. He spun his phone in his hands. “I understand if you don’t want me to come along for any more of your driving practice.”

Ali smiled wryly. “Well, maybe skip just some of the lessons? I’d miss you too much otherwise.”

“Alas, if we get into a wreck and die because of my clever tongue and overall _je ne sais quoi_, our girlfriend will probably find me in the afterlife and kill me herself.”

“True. But here’s the thing: When I take the test, I’ll need someone to entertain me while I rot in the dreaded DMV you all love to complain about. Wanna come with?”

“Darling, you didn’t even need to ask.”)

* * *

Alizhan passed her first-ever driving test with flying colors, to absolutely no one’s surprise. She even managed to get a decent-looking photo of herself on her temporary ID, which Thiyo _oohed_ and _ahhed_ over when she showed it to them, smiling as bright as sunlight.

“Take that, Iri!” she crowed.

Ev gave her a hug that lifted her off her feet and then with a sigh, pulled Thiyo in for a group hug, because even though things had thawed between them, she wanted him to know she could never stay mad at him for very long.

“Sorry I can be such a cranky mother hen,” she murmured to him.

“Sorry I can be such a chatty asshole,” he murmured back.

“Gods I don’t know why I do at least part of the time, but I love you both to pieces,” Ali told them seriously, clasping their hands. “Now let me drive us away from here so you can get on with spoiling me. I wanna celebrate.”

“Permission to post our beautiful shiny faces to Insta again?”

“Oh, alright. Permission granted.”

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, I finished the fic almost a week past its deadline but it's here at last! I like playing with AUs and hope the characters sounded more or less like their canonical selves. I love this wacky trio so much.


End file.
